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Activity vs Stillness
Questioner: Ever since I started practicing mindfulness, I really enjoy sitting and looking out into outer space, looking at the sky, birds, and clouds. I find that when I am in that state, I feel very light and peaceful. When normally, I go looking for other experiential activities such as learning this to do that to gain experience and understandings. Then I’ll stumble and fall back to an usual state like this.
Are the experiences lessons for me to look back and appreciate more those moments when I relax and watch the sky and clouds, not being hustled and attracted by something?
Answer:
You are looking for an explanation for “sometimes I sit quietly and watch the sky, watch the clouds, be at peace, sometimes I’m looking for hands-on learning experiences”, and you are thinking that these experiences happened so that you are appreciative about the quiet and still moments.
It’s still just a story, it is still the tendency to want to string everything together to tell a story. You till want this to be related to that, the story is like this and that in order to answer the phenomena that you encounter.
A story is just a story. It’s like the wind, does not always have the same color, sometimes the wind is like a storm, sometimes it’s light, sometimes it’s faint, sometimes it burns the skin. The phenomena that we perceive, such as when we are dumbfounded or suddenly interested in learning something, all of these are different phenomena and the variety of phenomena is what we experience. They do not mean to tell you: “Look! That this is better, this is not as good..”. Similarly, sitting still is not better, nor being active is less good. Those are just the story you are trying to tell yourself.
But the problem is, when there are different inner programmings that deviate from reality, and when there are many people out there with different types of programmings, none of them live in the present, all are living in different realms and dreams, with their own ideals and rules. Then when interacting with each other, the more intimate and closer they are, the more opportunity their “ideals” will reveal that what we believe is right, it is not ideal. Then, it has the opportunity to show that these ideals and dreams are in conflict with reality. Now these ideals and dreams are shattered and broken, and then only the dreamer would sit back to contemplate.
When observing and being insightful, you don’t have to sit in a quiet place to see things as they are or to be able to contemplate it. In fact you can be active and do anything in your awareness.
Sometimes you may like to sit quietly, sometimes you may like to be gentle, sometimes you may like to be alone, sometimes you may like to go for a walk, to run, to party, to draw, to read books, or to meditate.. All of these are diverse phenomena that urge inside. It is like a leaf, the leaf shakes sometimes because of the strong wind, sometimes it’s drooping, sometimes it wilts because of the sun, sometimes it is jubilant because of the rain, all of these are catalysts for the exchange of different energies and you experience those energies.
It can be temporarily said that life is expressed through you. It manifests through you in different ways: if you don’t want to do anything, you sit in one place, then you find that you like going to the gym or to be active, then that energy is expressed through you in the form of gym and activities. It has no more story than that.
And why many times you have conflicts and problems, feel broken, feel confused, miserable or angry in your heart? These things have nothing to do with whether you sit in one place or I you are active, but they are related to your mind programmed to think you have to be like this, life has to be like that, other people have to be like such, life has to be this way… These are different types of programmings, beliefs, and prejudices that have existed for a long time.
Sitting in stillness and being alone can also bring out a lot of “horrors” that one can feel. For example, as Vietnamese people say “when idle, unwholesome action takes place”. When one is idle and has nothing to do, then one suddenly feel the urge to be unwholesome, because one has to deal with a lot of own programmings that he has been too busy to face for so long. These programmings now start biting and making him feel unbearable and want to do something to escape. That feeling of restlessness and brokenness can appear at any time. It’s our past programmings, it’s our prejudices, it’s the signs that show us we’re still clinging to something, relying on something, imposing that things must be this or that way. These programmings appear not to remind you to sit back.
If you like to sit, then sit. If you like to do activities in mindfulness, then do. The key here is not about doing something or not doing anything, but the key is in witnessing, seeing and knowing. The key is in observing and knowing the phenomena, such as rain, sun, wind, movement or stillness, that we are experiencing. That’s it, no more stories.
TN Dan takes notes from the video “Suchness Conversation” with Phan Y Ly
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Nhu Khong – Suchness
☘️Hello, what’s your name?
-My name is Nguyen Hoai Anh.☘️Have you attended the Nhu Khong (Suchness) course?
-I attended the Nhu Khong course on June 6-12 held in Nha Trang.
☘️Before participating in Nhu Khong, did you practice Mindfulness Observation?
I tried observing the mind for a while.
☘️What did you learn from Nhu Khong?
Nhu Khong helps me to observe, recognize reality including body, mind, emotions, situations, see more clearly how the mind works and how to realize them. In addition, the class imparts knowledge on why the skill of seeing is important, and what it means to be awake.
☘️What in the way of teaching at Nhu Khong makes you find the most effective for you?
I really like the way of teaching at Nhu Khong because I had fun, the class atmosphere was comfortable, the teacher pointed out the problems that students were having. I not only learned when the teacher showed me, but also opened up when I heard her answer the problems of people around me. Before going to class, I brought a lot of doubts and concerns with me, but when I left, I felt clear. The theory is not vague, but self-experimentation right through different games.☘️How is your practice in daily life after the Nhu Khong workshop?
I practice more regularly, though without effort. The class created a momentum for me to self-observe my body, mind, emotions and circumstances; it nurtured the factors that helped activate my mental strength, so after leaving the class, the wheel continued. I realized a lot more at the moment of the incident and felt more and more interested in observing, discovering myself, my reaction to things rather than paying attention to the objects.☘️What has changed in the way you observe yourself and your surroundings, after Nhu Khong?
I observe myself with the situation, with a natural awareness even though I don’t consciously try to focus on it. I realized many mistakes in my previous practice while still being led by thoughts to follow. Now I understand how thoughts/feelings come and go, without doing anything. Interesting.☘️What is the difference in yourself that you realize after joining Nhu Khong?
Before, I was always struggling with my emotions, sometimes with great confidence thinking I was a good person etc, sometimes drowning myself thinking that I didn’t deserve anything good. There were times when I was confused as to whether I had bipolar or some kind of mental illness because I was always changing so quickly that I was dizzy with so many crazy thoughts that kept fighting each other. I used to be proud that I was a kind person with a lot of beautiful humanistic thoughts, but then I couldn’t accept it when I glimpsed the shadow of the evil demon in myself. I do not allow. I banished thoughts that were bad by my standards, shoving them all in a drawer in my head, thinking it was over because no one else knew. But the only person who has to deal with those hidden drawers is still me, I am still the one who has to face the quality of life I created for myself after all.On the last day of the course, I was happy to realize that I am a very ordinary, but unique person. I take pride in living with all my emotions and allowing my wildest thoughts to come through with less and less control over them. I am happy to realize that my life is completely free, not even dependent on my own thoughts, let alone imposed by any outside force.
These are not clichés or things I’ve heard from others, but what I’ve actually experienced. I love the magic, the variability of life.☘️Does your satisfaction with yourself change after the Nhu Khong workshop?
Before, I thought I had more than other people, I was always aiming for perfection, wanting to develop myself, thinking that I loved and pampered myself, but it was actually a disguise of self-pressure.I only love me when I’m beautiful, when people recognize me as talented, smart, and pretty.. but when I’m fat, I’m ugly, when I’m not satisfied with something in me, I’m disgusted, I neglected and treat myself badly. Now, more than ever, I am content and grateful for all that I have. I really know how to take care of myself. Naturally, I am also more satisfied with the people around me and know how to take care of others without imposing on their lives. I realized how because of my own standards of beauty, cleanliness, behavior…I had been so intrusive and caused pains to other people around me
☘️Does your satisfaction with your living situation change after the Nhu Khong workshop?
I still have a desire for one or more versions of my life that I love, but I don’t feel pressured to do so to be happy. I welcome the situation and everything that comes to me more relaxingly and comfortably. I feel grateful for what life gives me, and more appreciative of what others do for me. Before, I thought because I was this kind of important person so I deserve all of those things, I take it for granted that people love and treat me well. I thought all that is good is mine, by me and for me. But when bad things happen, I often blame the situation, why at that time I didn’t think it was my own fault? I used to not understand what gratitude is, gratitude is not in my dictionary. But now living in this feeling every day, I feel happiness multiplied many times over, I understand why gratitude is the source of happiness.
☘️Where did you get that feeling of gratitude after the course?
Before, I lived without gratitude because I thought everything was due to me having certain factors, being treated well by people, I also thought that I deserved it.
But then I realized that it has nothing to do with me.I still remember in Nhu Khong workshop, when everyone did the exercise of tossing small sandbag to each other. Ms. Ly instructed how to coordinate movements to save the most effort, I practiced and suddenly realized that nothing was due to me alone. I am in harmony with the natural workings of all things.
When I first came to the UK to study, when I got off the bus, everyone thanked the driver, I didn’t, because I thought it was people’s responsibility, a driver’s responsibility. And I also didn’t want to follow others when I didn’t feel that way in my heart. But after a few times, I also mumbled my thanks when I felt so different from others (under the pressure I felt from the crowd).
But now when I get a Grab service, just get off the car, I thank the driver very sincerely because the driver drove me to the place and was kind with me.
I feel so small in the vast and wonderful universe, I am like this because life gives. I thank life for giving me the tools to experiment. When I think about it, I’m moved to tears..
☘️How do you deal with unpleasant things after Nhu Khong workshop?
In the past, I used to have one or more pre-built scenarios in my head about possible situations. When things did not go according to the script, I found it very difficult to accept, I was upset inside and there is intense pain in my body. This accumulated over time, causing me to have chronic stomach pain. And every time I just worried about losing sleep, I had a stomach ache. After the workshop, I accept the unpleasant things more gently, no more pain, discomfort, or the uncomfortable feeling quickly passes.☘️How does your view of Happiness change after the course?
I used to think happiness was when things went the way I wanted. After that, when too many things went my way, I was disappointed, seeing that everything I wanted was boring, there had to be something different to be happy and to have a chance to be creative (and mostly it was to prove that I was good, I was better than people). So sometimes I liked things to happen the way I wanted, and sometimes I wanted it to turn out differently, in the end it was still the desire of the ego, of the self. Now I feel happy that I accept everything that comes my way and live fully with every emotion when it happens. I understand that it is possible to be happy at any time. Sadness, pain, poverty do not necessarily come with suffering. I am now flexible in all circumstances, not tied to likes or dislikes, or the choice of the mind anymore.☘️Can you tell me more from where you realize sadness, pain, poverty.. do not necessarily come with suffering?
People are often afraid of sadness because when they hear sadness, they will think it is suffering. Before, I wasn’t afraid of sadness, but thought it also had its own beauty and interest, such as watching a movie and then crying, it wasn’t necessary to suffer. I used to be very passionate about watching love movies and then crying. The next morning my eyes were puffy but I could still smile. The end of the movie was the end of the story. I see that in my choices. But when it comes to life, recognition is more difficult, easy to confuse. Many times I choose one thing I know will bring me sadness, but when I no longer enjoy it, I can change it but I often forget this.Pain with poverty must be more difficult, no one likes it. There were many times when I experienced pain, at first I was still screaming and struggling, hoping the pain would go away, until the pain was too much to lie still, I no longer had the strength to resist, after a while it would go away on its own. . Or sometimes I remember the pain of losing a loved one, I also cried and struggled but if someone told me not to cry, of course I didn’t follow. I feel that the pain is worth it and am also ready to live fully with that feeling without seeing the suffering of pain.
Since coming to Ho Chi Minh City to live in a foreign land, I have been exposed to many people from the working classes, they do manual labor but always smile and thank, there are also poor people who are helpless, but when when they see me, they can still nod their heads and smile. Looking at people like that, I feel that it is clear that poverty does not have to be miserable at all.
☘️What do you think about “maintaining happiness?”?
I am no longer in a position to maintain any state. I understand that everything comes and goes, accept them when they come and live to the fullest. When they go, I do not regret it.
☘️What in the Nhu Khong workshop is the key to helping you?
The answer often came suddenly in the moment when I was brushing my teeth or when I ended up lying on the bed to rest and relax, I suddenly realized, so I don’t remember any exercises in the workshop. In fact, since every exercises in the course is so flexible and rewarding, it’s synergistic that it’s hard to discern which exercise triggered the key to these questions. Every day after the workshop, when I come home, I see many things and break many illusions.
☘️What is the echo from the workshop that makes you continue to realize about yourself and your life even though Nhu Khong has ended?
This I don’t know, but maybe because of the inertia that makes the observation, when I return to my daily life, I still have many moments of realizing myself, realizing what was taught in the workshop. As I said, Nhu Khong has planted a lot of “seeds” inside each student, so when I leave the teacher, leave the peaceful energy in the classroom, I continue to “recover” good results. , continue to recognize yourself and have the right view of life.☘️Does Nhu Khong help you to clear any misunderstandings?
Too many misunderstandings in the way of practice, as well as too many illusions about myself, about the situation. Before learning in Nhu Khong, I was flying in the clouds of cultivation and attainment, striving to achieve certain virtues, to be superior to others, trying to maintain “Nirvana” and clinging to the feeling of peace and joy I was in.I force myself to conform to the standards that I consider to be the hallmarks of an enlightened person.
Now my feet touch the ground and feel life with normal senses.Everything I do is self-managed as the reality of the situation should require, in accordance with reality that my body and mind feels and allows. I see myself participating in life as a normal person, and no longer fantasizing about WHO I am. 😂 I don’t want to be anyone anymore, I don’t force myself to be this or that, I feel like the best version of me right now.
☘️Would you recommend the Nhu Khong workshop to your acquaintances?
Of course. Because I found this to be a very useful course, and so much fun 😆 Learning while playing, playing while learning. Learn once, effective for a lifetime.
I also have the desire to recommend this course to many of my foreign friends if the class conditions allow. In some conversations with foreign friends, I shared what I learned, they asked me why I knew. I have recommended some books that I have read and found useful. However, from my own experience, I have read and heard a lot of theories before, but only when I practice directly, I still see that it still wowed me, still broke many of my misunderstandings
I hope that the course will be replicated to many people, not only domestically but also internationally.
Thank you!awakening, awareness, beyond I AM, core teaching, correct vipassana, effortless noticing, enlightenment, freedom, games, innocence, letting go, ly phan, meditation games, nha trang, nirvana, normality, ordinary mind, paradise, phan y ly, real story, reality, right view, suchness, Tao, Truth, witness, workshop -
Towards the Light
From Eliott’s diary
A mind observation blog
Day 75
23 November
this morning i felt intense sexual desire, i could see how i was very alert to any stimuli. I observed how my sexual pulsion was taking over. I was horny and craving.
I felt electric in my genitals. I felt vibration and shaking in my limbs. My eyes were looking in every direction, restless.
I tried to approach Ly. She was busy and let me know she was not available; but i also see that i approached her clumsily. I was rushing and acted out of need; she maybe felt that i wanted to sayisfy an urge and did not feel like indulging.
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-As i was driving today, i felt full and content. My eyes teared up. I felt beatitude, like beam of energy rushing through me. My eyes were relaxed and seeing everything clearly.
I realised how beautiful was everything i could see and feel. The road, the sun through the clouds, the flowers, Ly by my side, Leo sleeping -i could see through my mirror-,the car.
It was an intense experience, short in duration, but it hit me very strongly and triggered many emotions.
I felt happiness, sadness, content and remorse at the same time. I was crying and smiling together. I felt aching in my chest but so bright successively in an instant.
I realise that the world is purely full of love and beauty. All these years living in lies and darkness had made me numb. I can observe how i open to life and reality now.
_________________
-I realised today, as i was feeling so close to Ly and Leo and i felt so simple, pure, present, happy and loving, that all these years i had not felt truely the meaning these words carry.
Before, my sensations and emotions were always tinted by my thoughts or my ego.
Today i felt so touched multiple times. I saw that what i was feeling was pure and not from a “fabrication” of my mind.
{what i want to express here is not so clear, i will write about it again when i can explain this phenomenon more clearly}Eliott
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See how your mind works
The following is writing from my partner Eliott. I think its quite helpful so with his permission I post the writing here.
For the last 60 days, i have been following Ly’s teachings.
I start seeing through the programming of my mind and i can witness how i have become more relaxed and more in touch with daily life in a calm manner.
Simply because i have debunked and let go of the way my subconscious mind controlled me.
I write a daily blog about my observations, sensations, thoughts and realizations.
I would like to share with you my yesterday’s writings.
Day 59
-this morning when i went with Ly’s mum to the market and i witnessed her argue price with a seller, i felt nothing, i was completely blank and just noticing everything going on around me at the same time.
I realized that today was different; as before in my experience with being with Ly’s mum, i would often suck in her stress and have an equivalent body response. But today i felt like i was sitting and watching two birds in a cage.
-around 9h, i sat down and talked with Ly’s parents about my misdeeds, how i abused people around me and how i damaged Ly’s name and reputation, as well as my recent realizations about myself and how i want to change and fix what i have sullied.
A few weeks before that i was feeling stressed and anxious, apprehending this moment i would meet with them. But this morning, i felt calm and honest. In terms of sensation, my body was relaxed and i could feel my energy flowing well without blockage. My breathing was deep and slow. I could look at Ly’s parents in the eyes.
Since we cannot exchange in one common language well, i used translation app and it gave me a chance to pick my words. I chose them carefully and i could see i did not have to say much to convey what i wanted to say.
I feel very grateful for Ly’s parents kindness.
-Around 10am, on the way back to our house, i stopped to buy a juice by the side of the road. When i was drinking my juice, i saw Ly’s parents driving by and they saw me too.
I immediately felt weird in my stomach and a little shaking.
My mind went crazy:
“oh shit, what are they gonna think”
“Ly’s mum just took you to the market so you can save money on food and here she sees you buy some processed product right after your conversation”
“I am being that restricted i cannot buy juice anymore?”
blablablaI realized that my brain was pulling me towards this guilt / self judgment / suppressing path all over again based on delusion.
The reality was that no one cared, but my brain made it sound to me like i was a prisoner. And for some moment, i was being bombarded by thoughts to push me to feel like a prisoner.
I can see how i felt for this scheme and how long it lasted ( a good 10 minutes) before the sensations went away and i recovered my calm.
-at about 16h i was looking for a hairdresser since the barber i went last time was closed. I started driving around and passed by 1, then 2, then 3 barber shop that did not looked like i “wanted”.
When i realized that my brain was making me start a hunt, and that i was falling into an adrenaline seeking scheme again, i decided to stop at the next first hairdresser i would see.
I did, and it was fast, cheap and good. I could park the car right in front, the man inside was ready immediately, he barely talked to me, he just listened what i wanted, told me the price, he did his job and done!
I feel like it was a great decision as everything was smooth and easy.
-Tonight, as i was preparing dinner. I felt like i was watching my body cook. I felt like in a immersive VR experience.
Increasingly, i realize how putting myself fully at one task to support Ly or Leo is very beneficial to my mood and overall condition. I feel lighter and more connected to them and myself in terms of sensitivity. I feel happy to do anything while before, i would always think of anything as a “task”.
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Positive thinking will not help you far 
In order to see reality as it is, one has to be free of judgment. People tend to see things in a way that pleases them, or they try to change it into something that they believe it should be. This type of thinking creates distortions in reality.
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The core of the enlightened view that the Buddha taught?
I respect you, Venerable Monk. May I ask what is the core teaching of Buddha? What can help me cope with extreme suffering? I would like to thank you.
Answer:
When you are faced with extreme suffering, fully perceive it as it is and you will see clearly the cause of it. It’s not about the past cause, but the present attitude towards that suffering. From seeing the present attitude you will see all the causes from the past to the future and put an end to that cause. This is the core of the enlightened view that the Buddha taught.
Venerable Monk Vien Minhtrungtamhotong.org
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Body pain and Enlightenment
Questioner:
Hi Ly, I’ve always wondered this. Body pain is suffering, isn’t it true? (That kind of illness since childhood, the disease cannot be cured. Except for the worry and fear, which is a virtual suffering). So the need to solve the pain and fatigue of the sick body is a practical need, right? From there, I’d find medicine, or to the healing practitioners, or the energy workers to see where my bio-energy map is stuck… But as I was cultivating this path, things turned out wrong, my energy got even more messed up, and then I get involved in the invisible realm and things… (although the energy helps me to be less painful and I don’t have to take medicine). Then it’s hard to go on any path, sister?
Should I simply be aware that I am in such pain (without worrying) day after day, year after month, until the day I die, sister?
Phan Y Ly:
Your question shows confusion, inability to distinguish between different kinds of sufferings, as well as the different purposes of different paths. If you can distinguish clearly, you will no longer be confused and conflicted. I based on the definition in wikipedia to explain more:- Worldly Suffering (sa. duḥkha-duḥkha)
That is, suffering because of the sufferings of the mundane world, such as suffering from hunger and thirst, suffering from wars. This is the lowest level of suffering that anyone can feel. (Wikipedia)
👉 This suffering includes the pains in the body that you are talking about, this suffering is what everyone has to taste. No matter if one has attained enlightenment or not, one will still encounter birth, old age, illness, and death in the body.
When the body is sick, hungry and cold, it will need medical intervention or other forms to ensure the survival and health of the body. Even when Buddha tried to practice asceticism, he realized that he suffered better than all those who had tried asceticism and still did not attain enlightenment. Therefore, the misunderstanding of having to make the body miserable in order to realise Truth is a wrong view that the Buddha himself realized through his own experimentation. He himself saw clearly, if he continued to self-torture like this, the body lacked nutrients would be difficult to survive, if he died, he would still not realise Truth, the FINAL GOAL would still not be achieved. Because he realized that, he decided to change his attitude and method, he drank the milk bowl as an offering, he ate again .. to preserve his life, so that he could continue on the path of finding truth.
While practicing self observation/ awareness (also known as vipassana, insight, seeing reality as it is, etc.), one of the subject to observe and see how phenomena arise and pass away, is the contemplation of pain in the body. Knowing how one’s body and mind reacts when encountering unsatisfactory situations… are insights cultivated in this kind of observation. But this is also where many truth seekers feel confused and misunderstand that one has to leave the body to die in order to attain enlightenment. Actually, it’s not like that at all, one can just simply watch her body and mind reactions while waiting for the doctor to arrive, while taking the medicine, while in pain or numbness from surgery etc.
So, the intervention and treatment is the thing people do for survival, not for enlightenment. And observing the reactions of the body and mind is what is needed to become enlightened, which is to see the truth about how our body and mind work. Thus, two different interventions for two different purposes.
But many people mistakenly believe that healing, or energy work.. is part of the practice to enlightenment. Such is Mistake. That’s it, it’s not that no healing or treatment is allowed.
- Suffering due to changes (sa. vipariṇāma-duḥkha)
It means suffering because of change. At this level, even seemingly pleasurable experiences are suffering. The reason people feel such experiences as pleasurable is because they have compared them with painful experiences. That joy is relative. Meanwhile, things are always changing, so after a while, those seemingly happy experiences are just boring, unsatisfactory, the joy is gone. (Wikipedia)
👉 This is the suffering of most people, but when they clearly see the coming and going, birth and death, the continuous change of states and things.. then that person will also gradually “indifferent”, no longer depended psychologically into these changes.
- Self Inflicted Suffering (sa. saṃskāra-duḥkha)
That is, suffering covers the three worlds, the six realms (all beings in samsara). The illustration of this suffering is the afflicted aggregates of beings, and this afflicted aggregate is not only the basis for suffering in this life, but also the basis for suffering in the next life. This suffering continues to drag from one life to another as long as people are still in ignorance.The awareness of suffering on this level is the most profound (Wikipedia)
👉 this is the suffering that comes from the torments, worries, and judgments, more broadly, all planning and intentions that lead to the arising of actions in our thoughts, behaviors, and words.
The practice is to observe how these habits are controlling us, to see how it leads us into the wrong place. Seeing through it means we are no longer deceived and led by it anymore. Without being led by the mind programming, it is called “letting go” or “no longer going back to this state”, or “liberation (from the mind programming)”
That way, when you’re sick or in pain, you can still see any reactions and changes in your mind and body. You can do treatment and take care of your body, at the same time see how the pain is rising or falling, and what inhibitions are emerging.. etc..
Another reason why contemplating pain, or suffering in the body, is quite effective in recognizing suffering (pain, dissatisfaction), impermanence (continuous change), and non-self (body is not our own or accords to our own will) .. is because one of the greatest programming of human mind is the thought of clinging to this body as one’s own, that it must follow one’s will.. But when we are sick and can’t intervene, that’s when it’s clear whether our bodies is in our will or not.
As you can see, if you just stop at healing the body with interventions (medicine, energy, etc.), it will only TEMPORARYLY reverse 1 of the 3 sufferings of sentient beings. But even when that suffering is thought to be very miserable, the fact it is still only a superficial suffering compared to the other two sufferings, that is, not accepting changes, and self-inflicted pains.
Meanwhile, if you practice contemplating the body and mind when possible, you can be liberated, your mind is no longer being dragged by the pain of the body or get stuck in psychological tortures. More over, even though the pain in the body is still there, it is already scientifically proven that calmly accepting it is an effective pain reliever, compared to fighting with it.
So you can totally practice both: having therapeutic interventions within your ability, at the same time observing your body and mind.
This way, your mind is tranquil, while your body is still taken care of
Those who realize this truth through physical suffering, as far as I knows, are not those who deliberately do not receive treatment and would rather lie down and wait for death to attain enlightenment.
I had spent 17hrs of labor of my 2nd child, in observing body and mind, not because I chose to delay his birth in order to attain enlightenment, but because of the circumstances made me suffer 17 hours of pain, instead of fighting back, she observed and accepted it.
Another monk, suffering from a painful festering infection, with no doctor in the forest, has struggled to fight the pain for a while, and finally he gave up and be diligent in mindfulness, awareness, contemplation. As he observed the pain, he could see how nature operates.
Hope my answer helps you to clear the confusion.
Questioner:
Thank you very much, Ms. Ly, you explain very conscientiously. ❤️ I have read it over and over again. I feel like this.
- It is true that the suffering caused by the body’s pain has nothing to do with the suffering for the mind that I created, sister. The pain can be endured, but the mind panics, worries, fears the pain, even though the pain has passed, it is still afraid that it will come back at some point (following the self-created suffering that is multiplied many times over), my mind starts to find ways to prevent me from falling into such a situation again, and even though the feared situation has not happened yet, I have scared myself.
- I don’t misunderstand that the healing energy meditation methods are cultivating enlightenment. I also don’t misunderstand that one have to let the body suffer until death to seek enlightenment. But as you said, I confused the purpose of two different interventions. The problem I am having is that when I try to cure myself, I will be led to see this person, that method, but it will start causing other pain in the body, I would be compelled to follow mandatory regulations, or forced to be involved with invisible realm… All this makes me start to feel tired and miserable again. And then I wouldn’t know what to do. I keep thinking that doing anything that adds to the suffering in the body, to the unsatisfactory thing of my life, is going the wrong way. While I was suffering, I did not know how to observe clearly this suffering, how my mind fights back. Am I realising the right thing, sister? I should still look for ways to cure the body, and whatever happens next causes suffering, I should just observe the body and mind, so that I don’t get dragged by it. What is no longer suitable, I will be led to another one. The important thing is to always observe the body and mind no matter what happens. I understand that, is it correct?
- Can you share more about Self-inflicted Suffering for me?
Phan Y Ly:
Self inflicted Suffering is the suffering that you just listed: “the mind panics, worries and fears, should find ways to prevent it..v.v.” All that suffering is self pain, self fear, finding ways to struggle, finding yourself stuck.. and then putting yourself in the wrong situation.. Finding treatment must also be in moderation, because excessive anxiety also conceal your wisdom, sometimes even leading to more serious consequences. Therefore, observing the body and mind, i.e having wisdom, should be put first. In that sobriety and composure, it is possible to evaluate or encounter the right methods that are good for you.If you really let go of the mind, accept anything even the worst, in a calm and clear insight, then that is freedom.
Questioner:
Thank you so much, I understand now.
Phan Y Ly:
As I have said, the realisation of the truth that this body is not your own, due to you, in your control.. is one of the most difficult. If you find yourself having to learn this lesson over and over again, maybe try changing your attitude and take an honest observation?
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Heaven vs Hell
HELL
So you think?
There’s a more painful place?
than the torment, the deadlock, the suppression of your mind?
Do you think there is a more terrible punishment?
than the scene of double-hearted life, deceptive to self and others, restless and tense in your head?
Do you think there is a darker place?
than the fear that covers your mind?
than anger, resentment burning in your heart
than the flood of jealousy and resentment inside?
Which cauldron do you think is more boiling hot?
than criticism, scheming, prying, calculating.. fed by greed and desire within?
Do you think there is a more cruel hell?
than the self-contaminated, straining, revenge, oppressing, congestion.. that you’re experiencing
in the name of her, him, this and that.. ?
Hell is talked about to scare everyone on earth
yet sentient beings are living in it every day:
Eyes bulging out of anger, body trembling with hatred
Short breathing, long lament, so stress one can’t neither eat nor sleep well
Swearing, threatening, attacking those one loves
Fears constantly invade the heart, without end.Oppressing one own emotions
to the point of vomiting and irregularly menstruate
Daily self-torture till one’s broken down, bedridden with unknown sickness
Charged with violence, ready to throw hatred at anyone
Seeing threats and humiliation inside and out
Scared and hostile at whatever present Glory, Power, and Love
finding refuge in the place of sorrow and sufferings
surviving on addictions, revenge, anger, or attacksill-will and deceit become common sense of life
Is there a better hell than that?
Right now, how many people are experiencing
Convulsions, pain, tension and struggling in one’s heart
Shortness of breath, instability, anxious like having a snake crawling in the stomach
Open the mouths and here come cruel words
Open the eyes and glares of hatred expose
Every step is a mourn
Every action is an eruption of malice
Which hell is more horrifying than those
Where else is more painful and heart-wrenching than that?
In which realm one is more severely punished?
Pain in mind, body, blood, and vain?
Where is this famous Hell?
In which you could be harmed more than the self-execution you have operated?
Just look at your own heart
That’s Hell – and it can turn Heaven.
☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️
HEAVEN
So you think?
Heaven is a paradise where people never die
What paradise is more eternal than this very present without past or future?
What happiness is better than peace and freedom?
than being able to stay harmless whether you are hungry or not
What power is greater than stillness of mind?
At the face of slander and deceit.. one remains calm without ripple?
Facing adversity and danger with power and gentleness?
Which heaven is more blessed than ability to enjoy your meal and have a good sleep?
What paradise is better than those?
Who can be richer than a person knowing when to stop?
No worries can make him paranoid?
Which heaven is more special than the earth?
Every river, mountain, grass.. is a unique construction?
Is there a more magical place than here?
Every minute its changes are magic?
Rhythm and interconnection lively everywhere
God’s magnificence and glory is also your deepest part
Heaven is not far away
Stop right here, silently aware, and breathe
the intensity, or lull in your mind
changing as one with the universe, heaven and earth
Heaven or Hell the border is a thin line
️
For a moment, the mind was still panicking
Aware! And hypocrisy no longer take place!
️
Heaven – who said it’s an unreal paradise?
Heaven is Hell embraced and seen with love -
Mediocrity, Extraordinary, and Normality
Dear,
Haven’t received your letter for a long time, I think you are back to normal. “Back to normal”, I said, not in the mediocre sense, but “normal is how a mind sees Tao”. Alas! Few sentient beings can return to normal because they are either too mediocre, too unusual, or too extraordinary.
A mediocre person is one who is swept away by life like a lost soul who surrenders himself to the river of karma.
An abnormal person is one who has been thrown on the shore of life by the storms of life, lying dead waiting for the tide to return to the river.
And extraordinary people want to reach up high, fly away from the painful reality of life, want to spread their wings to fly, far beyond the world, until the day after the wings are tired, the worn strength will fall back to wind, karma.
Sentient beings are usually one of the three above, or are all three masters of them, so how can they return to normal?
My dear, I know that you used to be an mediocre person, then sometimes abnormal, and now (since you met the Tao) you have had more extraordinary dreams.
You thought you could struggle out of the past. You thought you could look forward to a future on the land of peace. And you wonder to yourself, “when will I be at peace” or affirmatively “I must achieve peace”. But in that way, you have inadvertently lost your own eternal peace, which I call the normality, what is or has been that way forever. My dear, why do you keep abandoning your eternal peace in pursuit of what is to be or a distant ideal peace?
One Zen master said:
“As the body is in the sea, stop looking for water.
As one already walks in the forest, why search for trees?”
The ordinary is the suffering, impermanent and non-self that you are always in. Just because you long for the extraordinary – the mediocrity, the egoless, or some other distant peace – you have forgotten the priceless normality. It’s like an absent-minded person holding a lamp looking for it, looking for it forever, but never finding it, but in fact the lamp is already in his hand and hasn’t left for half a minute.
Returning to normal is not about reciprocity, but you just need to let go of the extraordinary prospect, just let go once and definitely, that’s it. But letting go to return to the ordinary, not surrendering to the mediocrity, means how do you not get swept up in the stream of karma.
You probably remember the koan “fish” that I gave you before. Why aren’t fish swept away by the current? Why aren’t fish thrown ashore? Why don’t fish turn into dragons to fly to the clouds? Just because the fish knows how to swim, swimming in its own eternal normal water.
Do you think the enlightened person is out of the ordinary? No, they just go beyond the mediocrity, the abnormality, and the extraordinary.
Enlightenment just means returning to normal, which is often described as “enlightenment into one’s own nature”.
A Zen master confirmed: Enlightened people are “unaffected by karma” and not “untouched by karma”. The change of cause and effect is the normal thing, it is what is born with self and is one with the self.
So the enlightened ones are in the cause and effect but not affected by cause and effect, that is, they live leisurely in that river of cause and effect without ever being swept away by cause and effect, and of course in that absolute mystery they are one with the river – and knowing it as what it is, they are “out of it”, out of the drift (samsara) of the river of karma. That is also the meaning of the Buddha’s transcendent statement: “Do not stop, do not step towards the Tathagata to escape the flood”. If you have read the Vajra Sutra, you should understand the word “escape” in this dialectic way: “Escape without escaping should be called escape”.
If not, then escaping is just the great dream of mankind. That great dream has dominated most of their activities, has manifested magic in all the ups and downs, crises, divisions, battles…
Oh freedom! You are the prison that binds people. Oh, the land of peace! You are the battlefield filled with smoke and fire.
“Wake up, stop!” That roar of the lion once awakened Angulimala in the dream of an extraordinary dreamer. There can be no other freedom, no more happiness than the eternal ordinary. So there is only one way out, I will open for you:
“Freedom is indifference in bondage
Happiness is being at ease in suffering”
Yes, that’s right, joy and sorrow, gain and loss, more and less, good and bad… is the nature of the ordinary. If you just leave it for a moment and hesitate to choose, it’s all broken! But why can’t people afford the ordinary? The Buddha replied: It is because of greed, hatred, and delusion.
Mediocre living is a manifestation of delusion. Abnormal living is a manifestation of anger. Extraordinary living is a manifestation of greed. And where there is delusion, there is greed and hatred. Where there is anger, there is greed. Where there is greed, there is anger and delusion. Greed, Hatred, and Delusion are illusions that are unpredictable, constantly changing. They are coincidental origin on the co-existence of dependent origination, is suffering superimposed on suffering, is knowledge that obscures knowledge. Therefore, dependent origination, suffering, and knowledge have been distorted and lost their normality. Since then, people have lived in the illusory world of the mediocre, the abnormal, and the extraordinary. These are the operating processes of ignorance, craving, the twelve causes and conditions, change of attachment, and karma of reincarnation.
Getting rid of the process of ignorance and craving is therefore not to fly into the supernatural, illusory world, but to strip off all disguises branded as self to stay innocent in the original nature of the self.
Zen master Yongjia Xuanjue once said:
“Stop gathering knowledge, the free shaman has nothing todo
Not extirpating false thoughts nor seeking truth
The true nature of ignorance is Buddha’s nature
Illusory, empty body is Dharmma body”
To stop learning and practice non-doing is to return to normal, to jump in the middle of the stream of fate without fear, and strangely there we meet our self in the ambiguous dharma world, truly “overcomes without competing” as Lao Tzu taught. But how many people recite Amitabha Buddha, hope for Buddha Land. It was foolish of these extraordinary people to leave the mortal realm to seek the far-off fantasy, because they did not know that Amitabha is the self-nature, and the mortal realm is the original mind.
The Buddha taught: “An ordinary mind, an ordinary world” – a peaceful mind or a pure mind is an ordinary mind – “the ordinary mind sees Tao”.
So the ordinary mind, the ordinary world, is the Nirvana Pure Land, not to look far away. That’s why ancient virtue once said:
“Birds singing and chirping are meditative wisdom
Morning dew and leaves falling are awakening”
Such is the soul of an ordinary person, how wise and poetic!
In a state of innocence, mindfulness and awareness, that ordinary person can smile when he discovers:
Three realms of delusion are pure in mind
A life of birth and death is an ordinary sight
Rose buds bloom at sunrise
Gentle heels grace the earth, the dream is over.
I rest my pen, wishes you often in ordinary.
Thầy.
(Translated from “Collection of Thầy’s letters” by Venerable Monk Vien Minh – trungtamhotong.org)
-
Talking to my teen son on depression and suicide
As I picked up my eldest son from the airport, our conversation unintentionally delved into the topics of depression and suicide among adolescents. My son, now 14 years old, had previously mentioned a friend who had been diagnosed with depression and was on medication.
Every time my son and I went somewhere together, whether on a motorbike or in a car, our conversations inevitably revolved around subjects like the subconscious mind, spirituality, religion, and psychology. What I’m sharing with you now is just one of the many conversations we’ve had over the years.
This type of conversation between us had its origins when he was just 4 years old and asked me a profound question: “Mom, do you know what ‘nothingness’ looks like? If you answer ‘White or Black,’ it’s all wrong because nothingness can’t show you anything.”
It was this innocent query that initiated a series of conversations about consciousness and spirituality between us.
In our recent conversation about depression and suicide, I’d like to present it in segments with titles for ease of understanding:
Life and its Meaning
Me: Dion, there has been some heartbreaking news recently about a 16-year-old boy who took his own life. This story has shocked many people, and it got me thinking about the increasing number of teenagers experiencing psychological issues. As a teenager yourself, what are your thoughts?
Dion: You’re right, Mom. I have about 3 or 4 friends who have either experienced depression or had thoughts of suicide. It seems quite common.
Me: Do you know why they feel this way?
Dion: Well, I’ve heard them say that life feels meaningless or for other reasons I may not know.
Me: Yes, I’ve heard similar reasons from many people. Many struggle to find the meaning of life and consider it a rationale for ending their own lives.
Dion: Yes.
Me: Dion, do you understand that the “meaning of life” is essentially our minds creating various stories, attempting to connect, compare, distinguish, synthesize, and interpret the data we receive through our senses, experiences, and life situations? Depending on our past experiences or data, our minds provide different interpretations, what we call “the meaning of life.”
Dion: Yes.
Me: However, in reality, life is inherently meaningless. Each moment we experience holds its own unique significance. When we try to bundle these moments together and label them with definitions and interpretations, it’s often because we haven’t fully appreciated and grasped life’s true beauty. We seek something higher, more spiritual, or a better meaning outside of this present moment.
Dion: I see what you mean.
Me: The truth is, we are already living and experiencing every change in our thoughts, emotions, and external circumstances. But those who can’t fully embrace this honest and complete experience continue to seek the so-called “meaning of life.” It’s like insisting that sunshine and rain are not enough, and they must come with a story to convince us that sunshine is sunshine and rain is rain!
Dion nodded in understanding.
The Mind and Its Programming
Me: What I’ve shared with you isn’t new. You and I have a history of discussing, learning, and practicing self-observation over the years. From a young age, you could distinguish and observe your inner world. You’d share moments when you noticed your limbs acting based on the inertia and programming of your mind. I bring this up because not everyone has this concept of observing the body and mind or understanding the distinction between imagination and reality. It may sound simple, but it’s a skill many lack, and we should approach them slowly, respecting their pace, rather than having spontaneous conversations like this one.
Me: A child under 3 years old doesn’t ask questions like “What is the meaning of life?” or “What is the purpose of this game?” They simply experience life fully when playing, feeling pain, or enjoying candy. They don’t concern themselves with the meaning of life; they just embrace life’s fullness. You can see your 3-year-old brother Leo, how he enjoys life in his own way.
Dion laughed, nodding.
Me: This state of being, transparent and carefree, experiencing life without attachment to thoughts, stories, or doctrines, doesn’t mean children are superior. In fact, a child’s brain hasn’t fully developed, so the parts responsible for complex thinking, analyzing, comparing, and contrasting haven’t taken control. These parts are what allow us to grasp, collect, remember, analyze, synthesize, summarize, and store conclusions based on past experiences and societal norms.
Me: Over time, these brain parts that handle analytical thinking develop, and life experiences shape a person’s ability to understand, collect, and analyze information. However, human brains are often imprecise in remembering and categorizing data, especially when not at ease. When faced with overwhelming or emotional experiences, our minds tend to group data and formulate conclusions based on past traumas or strong emotional events.
Me: For example, a person might believe “I feel devalued because of my unsatisfactory appearance.” This belief consists of multiple data points, such as past disparagement, societal beauty standards, and personal insecurities, all bundled together. Computers store data accurately, but human brains often jumble data and make hasty generalizations.
Me: Our mental world becomes an intricate maze of misconceptions, detached from reality, built over years with shallow beliefs, pains, fears, greed, despair, and false hopes. One mistake piles upon another, forming layers like tangled silk. Unfortunately, this is where many people find themselves, living in a complex mental world that disconnects them from immediate reality.
Dion continued to listen attentively.
Me: Much of this mental construction serves the purpose of immediate survival. For example, if a child experiences repeated trauma associated with a person wearing a white shirt, their mind may form a mental association with white shirts as a danger sign. This ability to make quick conclusions is crucial for immediate life-threatening situations. However, in the long run, these conclusions may no longer be accurate, and the person may continue to perceive white shirts as a threat if they don’t learn to see through their own mind’s programming.
Me: The human mind often retrieves inaccurate data when faced with overwhelming or emotional experiences. It tends to gather impressive data, lump them together, and create a summary conclusion, as seen in sensational headlines or beliefs based on partial information.
Me: In addition to the imprecision of mental programming, people often inherit survival knowledge from past generations through genetics. This knowledge is not always accurate or suitable for dealing with current challenges, but it’s deeply embedded in our DNA. It’s like receiving an old map that may no longer represent the terrain accurately.
Me: As you grow and your brain matures, you’ll encounter various ideologies, teachings, religions, and philosophies. They all come from the collective knowledge of humanity’s mental constructs. People debate, defend, and fight for these ideas, considering them the ultimate truth.
Dion nodded, acknowledging the complexity of the human mind.
Attachment to Thoughts and Beliefs
Me: Many people are deeply attached to their thoughts and beliefs, often confusing them with reality. They identify themselves with their thoughts and beliefs, believing that these constructs define who they are. This identification creates strong attachments, and when these attachments are challenged or threatened, it can lead to emotional turmoil, which we see in cases of depression and suicide.
Dion: So, it’s like they are imprisoned by their own minds?
Me: Exactly. People build their own mental prisons through identification with thoughts, beliefs, and the stories they create. They forget that they are the creators of these constructs and have the power to change them or let them go. This is where the concept of self-observation and self-awareness becomes crucial.
Dion seemed absorbed in the conversation, processing the information.
Detachment and Freedom
Me: By practicing self-observation and understanding the nature of thoughts, individuals can begin to detach themselves from their own mental constructs. They can start to see thoughts as passing clouds in the sky of their consciousness, rather than as absolute truths or definitions of their identity.
Dion: So, how can someone achieve this detachment?
Me: It begins with the awareness that thoughts and beliefs are not absolute or unchangeable. They are conditioned by past experiences, societal influences, and personal interpretations. When people realize this, they can start questioning their thoughts and beliefs, asking themselves whether these constructs serve their well-being and align with their true values.
Me: Detachment doesn’t mean suppressing thoughts or denying their existence. It means observing them without judgment, recognizing that they are temporary and not the essence of who we are. This process allows individuals to gain greater freedom and flexibility in their thinking.
Dion: So, if someone is experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts, this practice of detachment can help them?
Me: Absolutely. When someone is trapped in depression or overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts, it’s often because they have become deeply entangled with their own mental constructs and beliefs. By learning to detach and observe these thoughts from a place of non-judgmental awareness, they can begin to break free from the grip of depression and gain a sense of clarity and inner peace.
Dion smiled, appreciating the depth of the conversation.
The Journey to Self-Realization
Me: Dion, this journey of self-realization and detachment is a lifelong process. It’s not a quick fix, and it requires continuous self-reflection and practice. But as individuals become more aware of the nature of their thoughts and beliefs, they can experience a profound transformation in their lives.
Dion: Mom, I think it’s essential to share this understanding with others who may be struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts.
Me: I agree, Dion. It’s important to approach these conversations with empathy and patience, recognizing that each person’s journey is unique. By offering them the tools and insights to explore their own minds and detach from their mental constructs, we can help them move towards a place of greater inner freedom and enlightenment.
As we continued our drive, the sun began to set, casting a warm, golden glow over the horizon. Our conversation had touched on deep and profound topics, reminding us both of the importance of self-awareness and the potential for transformation that lies within each of us.
Phan Y Ly 