Me and my sexual desire

From Eliott’s diary

Tonight i want to talk a bit about my new approach to my sexuality.

I have not ejaculated for 11 days today, without feeling like my testicles would explode if i do not release quickly. I have not masturbated for months, and completely stopped watching porn.

I feel very good about how i manage my sexual desire and can see that i have been such a slave to my “needs” for whole my life. I observe how this needs disappear as i am more and more aware of the processes and phenomenon from which they originate.

I feel everyday so blessed to live with a stunning Goddess, i am so attracted to Ly sexually, i feel horny all the time next to her. But unlike before, i feel no frustration now.

As an example, this week Ly has been really busy and we had Leo with us continuously; we have not had time to make love, or touched each other or be close physically. But i enjoy looking at her every second i see her. I feel no resentment for her being sexually attractive and not meeting my need, i also have no secret plans for revenge in my head. And i also do not feel an urge to use her or to release my sperm or energy.

I feel peaceful, i feel warmth in my chest and vibrations in my genitals.

But i do not feel like there is a hole in me to fill up anymore.

I feel full.

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